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Motivational Monday's (3/25/19) Topic: Coach Client - Connection

Hi everyone! Welcome back to Monday! Lately, I have been actively trying to focus a great deal of my energy towards something  that I know we could all benefit from. This is the art of creating and nurturing MEANINGFUL, deep, powerful, and endearing relationships. 

Most of us are not putting energy into this bucket as often as we should due to a slew of "excuses". Yes, excuses, and I will be the first to say that I am guilty of this too. All too often we think or say to ourselves, "I am too busy" or "I do not have the time" to spend 30 minutes having a face to face, eye to eye, no distractions, conversation with a friend, co worker, family member or loved one. Whether it be over a smooth cup of coffee in the morning to start the day or over a nice glass of red wine on Saturday evening to wind the day down. 

I am here to express that this type of mentality is an unfortunate misstep and missed opportunity to grow and evolve as a person. Whether it be in business or in our personal lives, building REAL meaningful relationships is king. Focusing on these types of relationships will truly allow us to feel as humans were meant to feel, CONNECTION. 

We are social beings by nature, and it is unnatural to stay disconnected. When we do decide to connect it be via distant, still disconnected methods like social media or text messaging. Lets just SIT together.... FEEL the magnetic energy we give to one another and I promise, you will not regret it. 

For a long time, I have been reading into some of the what, whys, and hows to go about creating and keeping these meaningful relationships. Below are a couple of key pointers that I have found and I am really really trying to always put into practice myself. I am, like we all are, a constant, always learning, changing and growing, work in progress. 

#1. Communication
What: Communication is the expression and receiving of the thoughts, ideas, and feelings of another person.
Why: It’s critical to relationships because it’s the only way people connect. It’s instrumental to the other qualities listed below and it is often the first thing to go when a relationship starts to deteriorate.

How: The key to strong communication is expressing yourself clearly and honestly and fully listening to the other person, seeking to understand what they are communicating (both verbally and non-verbally).

#2. Respect
What: Respect means to hold someone else, their ideas, and existence, in high esteem and in a positive light.
Why: Without respect for oneself and the other person, a relationship cannot thrive with honesty and interdependence.

How: To show respect, follow MY FAVORITE RULE: treat others how you would want to be treated.

#3. Honesty
What: Honesty means your words match your actions–you are truthful about what you do.
Why: Honesty is critical to meaningful relationships because it is one of the pillars of trust, and without it, the relationship is likely to fail.

How: Being honest involves communicating clear expectations of yourself and the other person, admitting to any mistakes, and expressing how you honestly feel.

#4. Dependability
What: Dependability includes integrity, and means your actions match your words–you do what you say what you’re going to do.
Why: Dependability is the second pillar of trust and is a crucial show of support for the other person.

How: To be dependable, keep your commitments and promises and be present for the other person, both physically and mentally.

#5. Empathy
What: Empathy is the vicarious experience of the thoughts, feelings and emotions of another person.
Why: A step beyond sympathy, empathy is the ultimate sign of support for the other person because you truly walk in their shoes and experience what they experience.

How: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Focus on truly understanding what the other person is going through and feeling before trying to fix it, respond to it or ignore it.

#6. Interdependence
What: Interdependence is when two independent people come together to create a strong relationship.
Why: Interdependence is stronger than a co-dependent relationship because both people are coming from a solid foundation. This has a powerful effect and leads to “the whole being great than the sum of the parts.”

How: Interdependence comes from thinking Win-Win in every scenario–find ways both independent people can benefit from each decision.

#7. Purpose
What: Every strong relationship has a purpose–a reason that the two people are connecting, associating or being involved with each other. It could be for career perspective, guidance, socializing, love or a thousand other things.
Why: The purpose helps to dictate what is expected and appropriate of the relationship; without it, a relationship isn’t worth the time or effort because it provides no value to at least one of the participants.

How: Defining a purpose includes evaluating why you are in a relationship and aligning the reason the relationship exists with your partner.

So far, for me, working on each of these (one step at a time and not in any particular order), I know I can grow my relationships and reap the absolutely  irreplaceable benefits with that person! I 100% believe that a relationship continues to thrive if both parties are able to express their true feelings in a clear, open minded manner like listed above. I challenge each and every one of you to question your current methods of CONNECTING with others. 

Is it soft tones and deep eye contact? Is it hearing laughter and seeing someone blush? Is it feeling someone's pain because you can see them quiver and connect with their energy? Or is it cold, one sided and only on your terms? 

Let's create the time necessary to engage, grow, feel, and thrive TOGETHER. 

Think about it. <3 



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